I been a little off, not myself, the past few days and that is why I haven’t checked in lately. I saw Liz on Friday, so that might have triggered it. We went into the city to a gypsy jazz show. It was good music, good conversations and good times. I told her that I might be quiet because I am sad that I will not see her for a while. She was a little confused because she was under the impression that I would be gone for a few weeks, not a few months. She reassured me that we would see each other and get tea or something before I leave. I was able to block out my emotions of saying goodbye to a good friend since she said she will say goodbye before I leave regardless if we really do. I numbed myself out and got lost in the music, not thinking about leaving good friends behind and forgot about feeling my sadness. We got home late that night and I went to sleep shortly after. I did not mind staying out late; I just minded how I felt the next day. I woke up feeling tired, irritable, and not fully attentive. I basically felt hung over, minus drinking alcohol. I woke and ran out of the house to get a few errands done for India before I had to leave to go back the city. I went to the bank to put my money in a cd since I would be away for some time, but since interests are so low it wasn’t worth it. Next I went to Fairway to order a massive amount of supplements that I would like to bring with me to India because I doubt they sell probiotics and digestive enzymes there. My total would come to approximately $400.00 if I purchase everything that I ordered. I was not happy and I got anxious about the total price because I hate spending money. After my errands I came home and got ready to go to the city. I was attending a yoga workshop called “Compassion and Devotion: A Heart Opener Workshop.” I was really excited about this workshop since it was with a teacher I know and the workshop had a beautiful theme. I love the idea of heart openers and I always incorporate them into my classes focusing on sending out love and compassion through the heart chakra. I enjoyed the workshop as I expected. The teacher had us make our practice a prayer or an offering. That concept really stuck with me. I usually make my practice a moving meditation, but today while practicing I tried to focus on making it a prayer. I also enjoyed that the teacher briefly explored bhakti yoga, yoga of devotion, which is a branch of yoga that I have been recently exploring and really getting into. I left the class and was off to visit my friend Sam. She is my little sister from my sorority and a good friend of mine. I checked my phone to see if she called or messaged me back because I tried to get in touch with her several times before the workshop. I did not hear from her and tried calling her again. She did not answer so I left her a message. I hope everything is okay because she usually returns calls. I was very disappointed that I wasn’t able to see her and probably won’t be able to see her before I leave. Since I did not have any plans anymore, I decided to walk to Penn Station with a girl that I knew from the studio. The walk went fast as we were engaged in an interesting conversation. It turns out she spent time in this cool place in the west where she did yoga, acupuncture, rieki and a bunch of other healing methods. She also told me that she will be moving to California soon. It is so great to see how people are able to evolve and fulfill their dreams to live a happy and meaningful life as I am working on doing. We arrived at Penn and I caught the next train home and spent my ride trying to figure out what I wanted to do on my Saturday night since my plans were no longer in existence. I decided not to stress about it and I would figure it out when I got home. When I got home my parents invited me to go out to dinner and I accepted their offer. We went to a diner and I was still upset that I did not hear from Sam and I did not have something exciting to do after dinner. When I got home I decided to dabble with boredom, something that I struggle with. Looking back on that night I should have planned to do something specific like reading a book or watching a movie. The next morning, I woke up and decided to go to yoga despite my strained shoulder. It was a good practice and I think it might have helped my shoulder. I always find humor in the fact that you can heal and injury with the same activity that you injured it in. After yoga, I went to a health fair which was enjoyable. I went to check out the latest in holistic health field, get free stuff and to go to a lecture about spirituality in the psychological world. It was a pretty interesting lecture that discussed how important spiritually is in healing traumas. The speaker was extremely fascinating. When she was younger she spent time in Peru studying with a shaman. It was inspiring to see that people on all different paths of life are all connected to following their dreams and heart. She inspired me to keep on my spiritual journey, knowing I may have a lot of pitfalls and barriers to break but it will be worth it in the end.
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