"Surrender." "Be yourself to discover yourself." These are two sayings that I hear a lot while practicing yoga in Mysore. One would think that I have made progress in surrendering and being myself therefore discovering myself. Well on a scale from 1-10, ten being the highest I would rate myself a big ZERO for surrendering and being myself in order to discover myself. That is quite upsetting to me. I still hold on to some old fears, patterns and desires.
I fear my future. I am petrified of it. As I am unemployed, I fear spending money and I fear being poor. I desire to have money, and to know that I am financial stable by having a stable job. I once was told "money is energy that you put into the universe and it will return to you." Why can't I embrace that philosophy and stop being a cheap *ss. I am here in Mysore and trying to attempt to a monthly budget for fear I will spend all my money and go home to no income and money in my savings. One might say that it is good that you are staying on a budget, but another (probably a yogi) would say "Cara, practice nonattachment, you are to attached to money and the idea of that having money will make me happy, seek happiness from with in rather than seek it externally."
By having this realization I was able to surrender and be myself. I am now able to spend my money intentionally for my unique needs. I would like to give myself a pat on the back, because as I surrendered and let go of fears, I am on the road to progress, on my way to finding myself!
I fear my future. I am petrified of it. As I am unemployed, I fear spending money and I fear being poor. I desire to have money, and to know that I am financial stable by having a stable job. I once was told "money is energy that you put into the universe and it will return to you." Why can't I embrace that philosophy and stop being a cheap *ss. I am here in Mysore and trying to attempt to a monthly budget for fear I will spend all my money and go home to no income and money in my savings. One might say that it is good that you are staying on a budget, but another (probably a yogi) would say "Cara, practice nonattachment, you are to attached to money and the idea of that having money will make me happy, seek happiness from with in rather than seek it externally."
By having this realization I was able to surrender and be myself. I am now able to spend my money intentionally for my unique needs. I would like to give myself a pat on the back, because as I surrendered and let go of fears, I am on the road to progress, on my way to finding myself!
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